Friday, June 29, 2012

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I saw one of those bumper frames for your license plate. It said, "Happiness is being a grandparent." Oh, that's the truth! I mean, I remember when I was a little kid. Happiness was having a grandparent with you, especially my grandmother. Because it always meant surprises; it meant going out to eat, and it almost always meant money! That's what grandparents are for, of course, to spoil kids. Any time I knew that I would be seeing Grandma I was excited to see what surprises she would bring. If we're that way about grandma, we should really be looking forward to what Father has for us today; that's Father with a capital F.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

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I know I really need to exercise. My blood and my pulse - they don't really get going very fast as I sit many days doing my work. You know, like what I'm doing right now. I'm sitting at a microphone, and I haven't made too much progress in my form of exercise since my childhood. Well, you know, I used to chug around on my bicycle when I was a little kid. And when I was little, it was for fun or just basic transportation.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

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One time Andy told me about the worst Christmas he ever had. Oh, he'd always had a hard time waiting for Christmas morning. I think most kids do. He felt that Christmas Eve was the longest night of the year just waiting. But there were a lot of long nights before then. And he was a little unsure of that Santa Claus business, and didn't quite have all that figured out.

Monday, June 25, 2012

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My wife hit her 40th birthday without the trauma you're supposed to have; very well-adjusted lady. No big deal - 40th birthday. And then a couple of months later our oldest son, who was then 12 said, "Hey, Mom, you know you've been alive for 14,662 days?" Well, that's a different matter. Actually, life really isn't years; it is days. All the little choices, experiences, hurts, happiness's of each 24-hour period, isn't that what makes the years?

Wednesday, June 19, 2012

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I always knew that if my teenage son ever did with stocks what he did with baseball cards, he'd be a millionaire someday. And then maybe I could go on a cruise...you know, who knows? Well, a lot of young guys, when they go looking for baseball cards, just look for the card of people who are already famous. But, of course, those cards have already done a lot of their appreciating while he was becoming famous.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

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Man, our garage was one busy place! I mean, you know, being in Youth Ministry, having meetings at our house. It was the fastest way to get to the basement. So, I mean teenagers were coming and going through the garage, and my wife and I were going in and out daily through the garage, and I usually had an armload of something. And in bad weather, the garage was the best way to get to the driveway, to the back yard. Well, listen, I tell you what. I got a great Christmas present that year - an automatic garage door opener. Never had one of those before.

Friday, June 15, 2012

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When our kids were growing up we occasionally had our own personal emergency room at our house! Our youngest son dislocated his ankle in football, so the doctor put an air cast on his ankle for about six weeks for support. Oh, and then the oldest son, yeah he had surgery for a knee injury that he got in sports. So they recommended that he wear a knee brace whenever he played a game where he had to pivot much. So, let's see. You've got your ankle cast; you've got your knee brace. It's all based on a simple principle that prevents further injury.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

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When our kids were growing up, we had an interesting system of government at our house. I had one big vote, and theoretically my one vote could count more than the other four sometimes. Nice system. That was the theory. In reality it didn't happen very often. There's one dynamic that takes place before a family decision that really can change the outcome, and that's what I would call skillful lobbying; especially by my three children, and they got really good at it.

Monday, June 11, 2012

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Every once in a while a woman decides to try something daring. She has what they call a makeover! She'll look in the mirror and say, "I'm tired of looking like this. I think I'll try something different." So she puts herself really into someone else's hands. Not just anyone. Oh, no, no! Someone who can skillfully change your eye makeup, your facial color, maybe your lip stick, maybe your hair style, your wardrobe. And "voila"! You look different. Hopefully you look better. But you had a makeover. Now, when's the last time you ever heard of a man having a makeover? Well, actually some men could really use one.

Friday, June 8, 2012

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My teenage son was learning to drive. He had completed the classroom portion of Driver Ed. and he was very interested in getting some "behind-the-wheel" experience.

One afternoon he wanted to shoot baskets in the driveway behind our house, and he said, "Dad, would you move the car?" I said, "No, why don't you move it?" He stammered, and said, "Yeah, why don't you move it?" So I got in the car with him and I said, "Okay, what do you do first?" He said, "Put on your seat belt." I said, "Great! Okay." Well, we're only going 12 feet, but "Good. And then what?" He said, "Put it into gear." I said, "What do you do first?" He said, "Put it into gear." "What do you do first?" "Oh, put your foot on the brake. That's right." Well, we had a very interesting little maneuver going on there.