Wednesday, June 19, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

I always knew that if my teenage son ever did with stocks what he did with baseball cards, he'd be a millionaire someday. And then maybe I could go on a cruise...you know, who knows? Well, a lot of young guys, when they go looking for baseball cards, just look for the card of people who are already famous. But, of course, those cards have already done a lot of their appreciating while he was becoming famous.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

Man, our garage was one busy place! I mean, you know, being in Youth Ministry, having meetings at our house. It was the fastest way to get to the basement. So, I mean teenagers were coming and going through the garage, and my wife and I were going in and out daily through the garage, and I usually had an armload of something. And in bad weather, the garage was the best way to get to the driveway, to the back yard. Well, listen, I tell you what. I got a great Christmas present that year - an automatic garage door opener. Never had one of those before.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

When our kids were growing up we occasionally had our own personal emergency room at our house! Our youngest son dislocated his ankle in football, so the doctor put an air cast on his ankle for about six weeks for support. Oh, and then the oldest son, yeah he had surgery for a knee injury that he got in sports. So they recommended that he wear a knee brace whenever he played a game where he had to pivot much. So, let's see. You've got your ankle cast; you've got your knee brace. It's all based on a simple principle that prevents further injury.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

When our kids were growing up, we had an interesting system of government at our house. I had one big vote, and theoretically my one vote could count more than the other four sometimes. Nice system. That was the theory. In reality it didn't happen very often. There's one dynamic that takes place before a family decision that really can change the outcome, and that's what I would call skillful lobbying; especially by my three children, and they got really good at it.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

Every once in a while a woman decides to try something daring. She has what they call a makeover! She'll look in the mirror and say, "I'm tired of looking like this. I think I'll try something different." So she puts herself really into someone else's hands. Not just anyone. Oh, no, no! Someone who can skillfully change your eye makeup, your facial color, maybe your lip stick, maybe your hair style, your wardrobe. And "voila"! You look different. Hopefully you look better. But you had a makeover. Now, when's the last time you ever heard of a man having a makeover? Well, actually some men could really use one.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

My teenage son was learning to drive. He had completed the classroom portion of Driver Ed. and he was very interested in getting some "behind-the-wheel" experience.

One afternoon he wanted to shoot baskets in the driveway behind our house, and he said, "Dad, would you move the car?" I said, "No, why don't you move it?" He stammered, and said, "Yeah, why don't you move it?" So I got in the car with him and I said, "Okay, what do you do first?" He said, "Put on your seat belt." I said, "Great! Okay." Well, we're only going 12 feet, but "Good. And then what?" He said, "Put it into gear." I said, "What do you do first?" He said, "Put it into gear." "What do you do first?" "Oh, put your foot on the brake. That's right." Well, we had a very interesting little maneuver going on there.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

At first I thought some apocalyptic event had hit our town. Schools were all empty, wasn't a school bus in sight, lots of people suddenly disappeared. Not to worry. It was just Spring Break.

Of course, for many of America's young people, Spring Break is code for "party like there's no tomorrow, baby." Well, after downing lots of booze and sometimes drugs...your internal censors just go off duty. So a lot of folks come back from break with little memory of some big mistakes. Partying that lasts for a night; regrets and scars that can last a lifetime. Going for "break" and coming back broken.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

Each of our three children learned the Heimlich maneuver in school. You probably know what that is. If someone is choking, you get behind them; you do the magic squeeze to dislodge whatever they are choking on. It keeps them from choking to death.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

The area around New York City is dotted with some scenic, protected bodies of water. They are reservoirs that supply the water for the millions of people that are in that area. Now, having lived in the New York City area for a number of years, we often took a weekend drive as a family and, well, we enjoyed looking at them. They're very, very scenic. You know?

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Download MP3 (right click to save)

I really dislike shopping for clothes. Looking for a suit would rank right up there with going to the dentist, I would say, as far as the pleasure factor is concerned for me. The problem is that they just don't have suits for guys who are shaped like me. Maybe there just aren't many guys who are shaped like me; maybe that's the problem.