Friday, May 19, 2017
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We didn't have a lot of money, but who cared? We had each other. We is my wife Karen and me, and we were on our honeymoon! Now someone has defined a honeymoon as the period between "I do" and "You'd better!", but that definition doesn't work for me. Most of us married people look back with fond memories on our honeymoon. Karen and I were married in Chicago, and we drove up to Wisconsin and Michigan for our first week as man and wife. It was a lot of years ago, but it was a week I will never forget; the tandem bike rides, where I ended up doing most of the pedaling, the chili dogs and onion rings, and the smooching as our kids later called it, the horseback ride, the boat ride. But the best part of the honeymoon wasn't the sights or the activities. It was that glorious feeling that, for one week, there was nobody else on earth but Ron and Karen. We just totally focused on each other.
I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "The Honeymoon Secret."
In a way, that honeymoon sense of "just the two of us" is the secret of a lifetime of beautiful love. We didn't take my parents along. No, nor Karen's parents, no children. My boss didn't tag along in the back-seat. None of our co-workers or none of the folks at church were there to take the focus off of each other. No. Of course, life isn't a honeymoon where those people don't take significant chunks of your time and energy. But your lifetime love is in trouble when anyone else starts to come between the original honeymoon cast, "just the two of us."
Our word for today from the Word of God, Mark 10:7. "A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate." On the honeymoon, that oneness is largely unchallenged. It's clear who the #1 person on earth is supposed to be...who gets the best of me.
But then the honeymoon's over. Your mother or father want a decisive spot in your life, your boss, or your friends. And along come children, and they seem to demand just about everything you've got to give. And even God's work - which every believer should be an active part of - can become such a controlling part of your time and energy that your husband or wife barely gets even your leftovers.
What if I asked your partner to draw a picture like this - a picture with you and your spouse as close or as far apart as they feel you really are. And what if I asked them, "Are there any people or activities that make you feel pushed out? Draw them in between you and your mate." What would they put there? Who would they put there?
If there's anyone that regularly keeps you from being what you promised to be that wedding day, it's time for major priority surgery. Even your children were never meant to keep you from the time and focus that your marriage needs. In fact, the best thing you can do for your children is give them the security that comes from feeling that the love they came from is still going strong.
I still remember hugging my wife in the kitchen, suddenly feeling we were farther apart, and here was our little boy looking up at us with his big, blue eyes going, "Mommy, Daddy, can I be in the middle of your love?" That's where our kids are supposed to be.
Actually, God created marriage to be a triangle with three people involved. You and your mate connected by that line at the base of the triangle, but with a line from you and a line from him or her connecting with the apex of the triangle with God there. The One who holds you together is God. He's the glue of a marriage. He holds you together when everything else is pulling you apart.
But humanly speaking, the secret of a great lifetime love is to keep that honeymoon picture in your mind - that wonderful sense of "the two of us". If you've allowed others to come between you in the honeymoon picture, it's time to move them to being around you but never again between you. Then maybe, in a sense, the honeymoon can last a lifetime.