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I'm one of those people with a wall-to-wall schedule I'm afraid. And maybe like you, there's just like no time in there for Murphy's Law—no time for anything to go wrong. Occasionally, Mr. Murphy still visits me.
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It was a hot July day some years ago in Washington D.C., and I had a great experience! Sixteen thousand Christian teenagers massed on the Capitol Mall with Capitol Hill right behind us, and we were having the closing rally.
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A few months ago it was "Wild Winter." And then as we got into spring, "Soggy Spring"—the sequel. Oh yeah, we might have thought that we had seen the last of those mountains of snow. Wrong again. In fact, the weather guys had predicted that all that snow would come floating in melted form down our rivers and streams. And there were the floods again! Listen, I lived a long time in a town who has one claim to fame in national newscasts—major flooding. They made it again this year. It's a heartache that we know all too well.
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There's at least one reason I hate to be away from home for very long, and there are actually more than one. I come back to this giant stack of mail, and sometimes emails. In fact, depending on how long I've been gone, sometimes I come back to a box of mail, and that's pretty intimidating.
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A number of years ago, my son was a lineman on the local football team, and all of his friends were too. And they were all lifting weight a lot and getting bigger. And they were all eating a lot, and also getting bigger because of that. Well, I noticed that all the guys who were playing on the line were developing big muscles and big stomachs to match. And I was dumb enough, because they were all bigger than I was, to comment on that one day. And my son indignantly said, "Dad, we're proud of that! That's 'lineman's gut'!" I never heard that before, but I mean it looked to me like it was "lineman's fat." But I guess I didn't know what it really was. Well, that same son later lost 30 pounds and the tummy was all gone. So, I said, "Son, do you remember when you told me that was 'lineman's gut'?" He looked at me and he said, "Dad, I think that's what we call a rationalization."
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Back when my son was old enough to get his license he began to watch me drive. Frankly, it made me think about how I was driving. I wasn't sure I wanted him to copy everything he saw me do. I mean, I'd been driving for 25 years or so, and maybe that was the problem. I think I'd become - I don't know - a little overconfident with that ton of steel that I propel down the highway, maybe even a little careless sometimes. I suspect overconfidence is the invisible cause of many crashes...many crashes.
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I love those old westerns! Things were so simple then. You knew the good guys were good, and the bad buys were bad. The hero well, he only kissed his horse. And the most he did with a girl was probably sing some trail song to her. And there was always a predictable showdown with the head good guy and the head bad guy. One of the classic lines usually came as the Marshal stared down Bad Bart. And he said something like this, "I want you out of town by sundown." Great line. It's a great way to keep peace in town - or anywhere for that matter. I don't mean asking people to leave, but setting a deadline like that.
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Well, it was a great milestone when all our kids got to be teenagers, and I didn't have to buy any more Play-Doh for a while. Oh, I've bought my share, and now it's for grandchildren. You know, when I did buy it for my kids, I found it in the strangest places. Oh, it's a good toy. In case you missed the thrill, you might not know this, but Play-Doh is this multi-colored, soft little clay that comes in these little cans. And it's a lot of fun if you're a kid; even if you're an adult I suppose. But my kids liked it because they could mold that Play-Doh in any shape they wanted. They could buy different shaped molds, and have Play-Doh animals, and Play-Doh cars, and Play-Doh tools. It's fun to be the Play-Doh shaper! It's not fun to be the Play-Doh.
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I don't know if you're like me, but have you ever wondered where children learn all the psychology they seem to know? They use it pretty effectively to get their way. Oh, we adults have to take courses in child psychology. They don't take courses in adult psychology, but they do pretty well. Kids learn very early how to maneuver, and motivate, and manipulate to get what they want. They use division. You know, like divide and conquer - kinda get Mom and Dad played against each other. They use guilt sometimes to do it; sometimes, they even use, yeah, deception.
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There's nothing more discouraging for the family chef than these three words, "I'm not hungry." Maybe you've faced those words. You know, kids have impatient stomachs. Of course, only kids. We don't, right, adults? But kids have impatient stomachs, so they eat whenever the urge hits and whatever the urge tells them to eat. And, of course, I'm sure our kids were like yours. They would usually go to the refrigerator and get some carrots or a tossed salad. Right? Some broccoli, some high fiber cereal? No! Our kids did not! Don't worry, neither do yours. Oh yeah, they'd go after junk food. Most kids today are junk food junkies, and they fill up on it. So, my wife would give us this beautiful spread of pot roast, and potatoes, and fresh vegetables, home baked bread. And the troops, "I'm not hungry." They're too full to eat. How discouraging when they're full of junk food. Now junk food may be okay, but not when it spoils your appetite for real food.
