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Thursday, July 11, 2013

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I picked up a habit while going out to eat with my young children years ago. It's a habit I really don't need to do any more, but I got in the habit of cutting their meat for them. Now, if you're a parent, you know that you get that old knife out before you start on your own dinner and you cut theirs into bite-size chunks. The problem is that I go out to lunch with a lot of businessmen, too, and I kind of have this reflex to cut their meat. But I've never found they really appreciated that. And, you know, the principle of bite-size chunks...well, that's not a bad one. I mean, the best way to tackle a big piece is in little chunks that you can handle.

Friday, July 5, 2013

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Being my wife is a full-time job, and she does a tremendous job of it. In fact, I'm thinking of doubling her pay-I really am. Let's see...two times nothing is...Well, anyway, once in a while we will get so involved in our projects, and she's usually doing them for me, that the laundry will fall a little bit behind. As a result of that, one morning I panicked and I said, "Honey, I don't have any clean shirts!" She said, "You don't have one?" I said, "Well, I have one." She said, "How many are you going to wear today?" That's the kind of practical clarification you get from a wife. See, it is true; I can only wear one at a time. It's nice to have a closet full of shirts, but the fact is, one at a time will do it. I'm okay if I just have today's.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

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Gary had a hotel on the Jersey Shore. It's one of those big, old rambling hotels with a lot of style the East Coast is famous for; kind of a bed and breakfast place. Now, if you had just taken over a hotel, what would be your greatest need? Well, of course, fill the rooms! How do you get all these rooms filled to pay off all that you've just invested in the place?

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

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I happened to be there when my friend, Rick, tried a Jet Ski for the first time. Now, you may have seen those little water machines that look kind of like a baby snowmobile, and they're a lot of fun. But it takes some skill to stay balanced on them as they start to take off across the water. Rick actually handled it pretty well for a while; he's a good water skier, and that didn't surprise me. But it was inevitable that he would eventually fall off. I expected that when he hit the water, that Jet Ski was going to take right off without him across the water. I wondered how he'd ever get back! It didn't happen. That Jet Ski is designed to start going in a circle near you, and it did, and it circles until you can get back on. Well, that's exactly what you need when you fall off.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

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If you've ever given a child a helium balloon, you know you had better tie it to something or you're going to have a heartbroken kid pretty soon. That crazy balloon will just float away and slowly disappear into the sky, and all the while here's this crying child pointing at the sky and expecting you somehow to get up there and retrieve it. Now, when you go from a helium balloon to a hot air balloon-the kind that carries people-you don't want that balloon to just go drifting off somewhere. That's why they put those sandbags on hot air balloons. I think they call it ballast. It's to hold them down; to help control them and to keep them from drifting off. Balloons need ballasts; so do people.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

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My first reaction: "No way." Then, "It's true...and it's awful." A man asleep in the middle of the night. Suddenly, what has been determined to be an approximately 60 foot sinkhole opens up beneath the house and literally sucks the man, the bed, and the bedroom in with it. The home has since been demolished, and the next door neighbors were given 30 minutes to grab what they could and evacuate. There was even speculation that the owners of the other two homes would never return.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

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Movies just would not be as exciting without those stunt men. I mean, the stars aren't about to take all the risks that give the viewer those thrills and ruin those beautiful pretty faces. So, every once in a while the script, maybe let's say for a TV show, will call for a man to fall off a building or a cliff. And so the viewer sees this man hurtling through the air backwards, and you know it isn't a dummy because his arms are flailing around. Now you might say, "Oh, he is a dummy if he does something like that." Well, you know what I mean. It sure looks like we won't be seeing that fellow again; this is going to be his last movie. But appearances aren't everything. Oh, it looks like he's headed for a crash, but actually he's headed for a net.

Friday, April 5, 2013

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One of the most dramatic scientific advances in my lifetime has been those amazing space shuttle flights. Apparently they're behind us now, but man, they sure did make aeronautical and science and all kinds of history. We got to hear space news on a pretty regular basis and watching those dramatic launches. We'd hear conversations from space. We still do from the Space Station. You know, you could hear the familiar sound of the conversation between the NASA Mission Control Center and those astronauts up there. The space day would begin with a wake up song from Houston. They'd play something that would say, "Good morning!" Then they would communicate back and forth all day long. Of course, they were in constant communication. See, when you're living in an environment where so much could go wrong; it's real important to do that.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

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I won't be going on a cruise anytime soon. Not that I ever wanted to. But the reports of those passengers on that powerless, drifting cruise ship a while back, oh that clinched it. Fire at sea, everything shut down - from lights to air conditioning to toilets, no communication, little bags as your personal "bathroom," accounts of sewage running in the halls and down the walls, a repulsive stench, sleeping wherever. I ain't goin'!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

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I was a Flash Gordon freak when I was a kid. Now, you probably have led a deprived life and you maybe say, "Flash who?" Let me bring you up-to-date. Flash Gordon was an inter-galactic hero that was made famous in a serialized movie that I think might have been filmed way back in the 1930s. No, I did not see it when it first came out! But it kept going on and on and on forever. I think you might still be able to find it sometimes on late night TV. Every episode ended with Flash in a jam, and he was always ready to be destroyed by some space monster or death ray. And you were sure there was no way Flash was going to get out of this one. There always was. He always did, and there is always a way out for you and me, too, if you're working for the right director.

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