"One thing I do know, I was blind but now I see!" John 9:25
Hope is found in a life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ. Every person who has this love relationship with Jesus, has a unique story of the power He has to change a life and the hope He alone can give. It is a story that only they can tell. As Jesus makes a difference in the life of a Christian, their story of hope is a living illustration that Jesus is alive and making a difference one life at a time.
I was a young religious girl, who did everything my parents and others wanted me to do. I actually forsook myself for the sake of others' happiness. I thought I was okay and was already right with God, because what was I to repent of? I thought I was already a perfect being!
"Praise the LORD from the earth...lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do His bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars...kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children." Psalm 148:7-12
A Trying Time
When I was young I had been taught to love Jesus, but I became a problem child, a troubled teen, and finally a divorced mother with lots of issues and no hope. Years went by that I did not attend church and prayer was very rare. I was full of pride. I did not praise or glorify God at all. During my divorce, I had to move into my mother's house. It was a very trying time for us all.
I was one lost sheep and at a point in my life, at 44 years of age, in which I found myself in a constant state of anxiety, suffering anxiety attacks on a regular basis. I was in deep financial debt, was diagnosed with mild depression, and basically I had lost my focus on living. Though I had a good job, it felt like I was walking around without a purpose in life. My inner spirit was dead and I had lost all hope. I was in a 12-year relationship with a wonderful woman whom I loved very much and was hoping one day we would get married. Getting remarried was a priority in my life and my hearts desire. I knew deep down in my heart that marriage was most probably not on her agenda. This, too, played a role in my anxiety.
I was raised in a Christian home, but as many teenagers do I went through a rebellious time where I got involved with drugs, drinking, and the wrong friends. I ended up pregnant by a man I had only known a month, and we were married when I was only 16. I knew even then, that I didn't like living without Christ. It was just too hard. The contrast I observed in others who were believers was a strong lure.
I left the church when I was 27. I partied, did my share of drugs, and drank. I got divorced. I was a mess and working in a job I didn't like, with no hope for the future. I had once even considered jumping off a highway bridge into oncoming traffic.
