Ron Hutchcraft Ministries - No Torpedoes in the Harbor - #5299

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Our oldest son was always a challenging child: creative, active, a mind of his own, a different drummer he marched to than his sister and brother. But we had our share of tender moments, too. Some of the ones I treasure in the photo album in my mind are the times he would slow down a little and actually climb in his Daddy's lap. And we'd just cuddle for a while. Sometimes I wasn't sure how he could breathe with his head buried in my chest. But then he'd look up at me with those big blue eyes and he'd say something I've obviously never forgotten, "When I'm in your arms, Daddy, I feel so safe."

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "No Torpedoes in the Harbor."

So safe. That's not only how a child is supposed to feel with his father; it's how a wife is supposed to feel with her husband. When a man is really a man (at least as God defines manhood) his wife can always say, "When I'm with you, I feel so safe." Sadly, a lot of the time the one we promised to cherish and protect feels anything but safe with us, guys. She feels wounded, attacked, devalued. And that's just wrong.

Listen to our word for today from the Word of God in Colossians 3:19 , "Husbands, love your wives." Now we might be OK if it stopped there. We could pipe up and say, "Hey, no problemo. I love my wife." Sorry, but the verse doesn't stop there. It goes on to say, " ... and do not be harsh with them." It's pretty plain, isn't it? Love and harshness just don't go together. Love makes a woman feel safe. Harshness makes a woman feel anything but safe.

I wonder if maybe you've gotten so busy, so stressed, so uptight that you've been spilling all over the one you love the most. She gets the meanness that you can't let other people see, and she doesn't deserve it! You stood at an altar one day and you pledged before God that you would honor her and protect her. But you're not protecting her from you! Sometimes, we just get all self-absorbed. I tend to drift into self-absorption when I'm feeling really squeezed by all I've got to do, when I'm really tired, when I'm on overload. And that is when the harsh words are most likely to come.

Which is the total opposite of God's directive on how a man is supposed to treat his lifetime partner. In 1 Peter 3:7 , He tells us, "Husbands ... be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." God cares so much about how you treat your wife that it can literally be the difference in whether or not He responds to your prayers!

Certain packages carry a sign that says "Handle with care." Wives should come with a sign like that. But that's what they need. It's what they're supposed to get. It's the treatment God expects us to give them. Frankly, a woman who is being spoken to or treated harshly by her husband has an understandable feeling of betrayal. Why? Because her husband's love was supposed to be the harbor for which the heart of a woman truly longs. That's harbor as in the one place where you're finally safe - the one place you know you won't be attacked.

No woman should be hit with torpedoes in the harbor because the man who loves her is being harsh with her. Man, when she's with you, let her know that she is really safe.