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I grew up in Illinois. It's hard to find high mountains there. I think the highest in the state was like 2,000 feet. So, man, when I go west, "Whew!" impressed by the mountains. And as my friend from the Rockies pointed out, what we called mountains were nothing more than glorified hills.
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You're missing a lot if you only expect God to speak to you in church. I mean, the other morning I was in a hotel in the shower and God spoke to me there. You see, it doesn't take much. I noticed as I was taking a shower this little gadget in the wall, and I looked at it and it said, "Retractable Clothesline." And I thought, "Well, that's a clever invention." Probably I've seen them before; I never noticed it really before. And I went, "Well, you know, that's a great idea." You pull out the clothesline when you need it to hang up something in the bathroom, you leave it out as long as it's useful, and then it disappears completely when it's in the way. Retract ability - that's a great idea when it comes to clotheslines. It's not such a great idea when it comes to more important things.
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Most women have learned that men are never lost. Oh no! Or so men think. Some man is driving, let's say, from Chicago to L.A., and his wife says, "Honey, why did we just enter Pennsylvania?" Is he lost? Oh, no, no! He's exploring a new scenic route.
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If you think about it, there are two words that's kind of unlikely would ever be matched up: channel and surfing. Channel surfing! Well, of course, that refers to the practice of skipping from one channel to another to see what's on each one. Drives my wife crazy! But everybody knows the man is the king of the remote, right? We are experts at that! Have master's degrees in that. Now, when there were only a few channels, we didn't surf much. But look what cable and satellite did! I mean, you've got dozens, maybe hundreds of channels to check out. And as you surf, you may get a glimpse of a sports channel, a travel channel, a food channel, a movie channel, and a country music channel, nature channel, and of course a home shopping channel. Let's really skip that one.
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I love to drive through Custer State Park in South Dakota. This time, we were driving through on our way to an outreach for the Lakota young people on a nearby reservation. I love the drive because, if I'm lucky, I'll get to see a lot of buffalo. I know you'll find this surprising, but seeing buffalo is one thing; riding them is another.
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The world looks a little different through three-year-old eyes. Peter was three and he was the grandson of one of our ministry team. Little Peter was out with his Mom, and they drove past this construction site and saw one of those giant cranes. Well, Peter got all wide-eyed, and he's watching this mechanized monster moving things around. Finally, in total amazement, he tried to find a way to express how big that crane looked to him. Here's what he said: "Mommy, it's bigger than God!"
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You've got to feel bad for Dorothy, and the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion. I mean, they went through so much to get to the Emerald City, all so they could see the Wizard of Oz. He had some great press releases didn't he? He was known as The Fearsome Oz, The Mighty Oz, and he ruled the Kingdom of Oz with that huge reputation. And when they got to his Throne Room, they were greeted by this booming voice, and bright lights, and mysterious smoke everywhere. The wizard behind the curtain was intimidating...until Dorothy's little dog, Toto, (Remember?) pulled away the curtain around the wizard. There was no giant wizard; just a little old professor talking into a microphone and cranking wheels to make big lights and big smoke. He was all image!
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Our oldest son was working with young people on an Indian reservation in Arizona. One of his first challenges was to find a place to live on the reservation. And that was pretty difficult. But God provided him with a lot and a trailer to put on that lot, and that was great! Second challenge, how to work everything on the trailer. Now, we're talking about a son here who shares his father's mechanical aptitude. I taught him everything I knew. It took about 30 seconds.
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Beware of the Florida sun! Especially if you're an office-white Northerner. Yeah, that's the voice of experience! I started out for a walk on a Florida beach before the burning hours, which is supposed to be like 10:00 a.m., right? That didn't help me because I can burn next to a 60-watt light bulb.
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I checked the bread drawer and it was still there, but there was a smell! Our daughter was visiting and she put in a bagel order with her aunt. She said, "I want an onion bagel." Well, somehow that onion bagel spent a few days in that bread drawer before it finally disappeared. Oh, the bagel was gone, but the smell remained. Well, that's not correct. Oh, no! In fact, the taste wasn't even gone. That little round stinker flavored every bagel in the drawer. So they all tasted like onion bagels now. I even had a bag of Starburst candies in the bread drawer, (Don't ask me why.) and guess what? You should try those with a little onion flavor! Yum, yum! Who would have guessed that one thing could stink up and flavor everything?
