When I came home from my first trip to Australia, my kids were eager to see what souvenirs I might have brought back for them. I couldn't fit that kangaroo in my suitcase, but there was one very Australian item I did bring back - a boomerang. Those things are amazing. If you throw it right, that boomerang will go out, make a U-turn, and come right back to you. It's probably a good idea, then, to pay attention after you throw your boomerang. I can just see a klutz like me throwing it, turning my back, and getting boomed with my own boomerang!
My wife and I are some of those psychos that I call marathon drivers. Now I know long-haul truckers have to do it for a living. But sometimes we choose to do it, just because we want to get somewhere quickly. Of course, like most men, I like to be the one driving, sometimes for longer than I should. My wife tells me that our lives start to be in danger from the time I start rubbing my right leg while I'm driving. Apparently, that's the first tip-off of fatigue. She will gently offer to drive and I will, of course, refuse. She offers several other times to drive, when I start doing a Jane Fonda workout at the wheel, when I turn on some obnoxious radio station at full volume, when I open the window to let in the 20-below wind chill. Finally, just before we're just about to become a National Safety Council statistic, I grudgingly pull over to the side of the road. We change seats, and I'm out before she can start up the car again.
Whenever we've had a young grandchild come over to our house, it was almost all good news. The reason I say almost is because of the preparations we have to fly into to get ready for the arrival of like a two-year-old. Yes, I said two-year old. That's two as in "super inquisitive." See, our little grandchildren have had a way of exploring, experimenting with every object within their reach. There are two kinds of things that need to quickly disappear before a young grandchild starts his little adventure at Grandma and Granddad's house. Things that can damage either the child or that he could damage. So as we joyfully anticipate a little one being with us, we also fly into a frenzied little exercise called baby-proofing our house.
It was a super-hot day one summer. My wife and I were on vacation, and all was well until the electrical power went out at our cabin. No lights, no air conditioner, no TV, you know. We decided to go to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Just as we pulled up, they put the closed sign in the window. It's a good thing I'm secure. The owner said the power was out there, too, and they decided to close because they really couldn't cook. It turned out that lots of places were closed. The locals told us that the power company had recently replaced the old lines with a much newer line that was supposed to be failsafe as far as blackouts. Right. The demands were great that day, and the power was simply inadequate to meet them.
If you've ever spent a lot of time in the city, you've probably waited for a bus. And sometimes it's cold, you've got a lot of packages, and some weird people are starting to cruise by. Suddenly, you see the dim outline of a bus on the horizon, and Biblically speaking, your heart leapeth within you. Finally, the bus gets close enough for you to read the sign in the window which displays three very discouraging words, "Out Of Service."
Now, I had never been to a quilt auction before. And I probably never would have been to one except for the fact that I had been invited to speak at an outreach at a Mennonite Relief Sale, where thousands come to bid on items made by Mennonite and Amish craftspeople. All the funds go toward worldwide relief efforts. It was amazing to hear the spiraling bids shouted out for some exquisitely designed quilts. While I was there, one went for $2,000. Last year, they told me that one quilt had gone for $4,000. They even sold two handmade dolls for almost $1,000. I was there long enough to see what gave great value to an auction item. Those dolls, for example, were made by a Ugandan refugee. The quilt that went for $4,000 was made laboriously by a severely handicapped woman, and it was the last one she made before she died. When we were told who made it - when we were told the effort they went to make it - it was suddenly worth a whole lot more.
When I was a kid, I used to like to put on shows for the other kids in the neighborhood. Hey, wait a minute, am I still doing shows for the kids in the neighborhood? Anyway, I bought a couple of cheap books on magic back then and this little kit of magic tricks. Even at my juvenile level, I soon learned that magic wasn't really magic - it was illusions. My beginner magic book talked about this basic magician skill called misdirection. The idea is that while you're doing the trick over here you do something that will get everybody looking over there. They said it helped to talk a lot. I knew I'd at least be good at that part.
The Greek ferry boat was loaded with more than 500 passengers - many were visitors from other countries. Suddenly, that ship plowed into a rocky outcropping, and in minutes the ferry went down two miles from shore, claiming the lives of 66 people. But it was a tragedy that never had to happen. Those rock outcroppings are clearly marked on navigational charts, the ferry had passed by them countless times, and there is a light atop them that is visible for seven miles. But the captain and three key crew members were not at their posts that night; they were reportedly down below watching a soccer match on television. A Greek newspaper headline proclaimed, "A blind course on autopilot." As his ship was on a collision course, the captain was not on the bridge.
It started out as a family adventure; it ended as a family tragedy. James Reddick took his 12-year-old son and his 11-year-old daughter on a hiking expedition up on Mount Rainier in Washington State. All of a sudden, a freak snowstorm arose. It created instant blizzard conditions and hurricane force winds. With a blinding 'white out' around them, they could not go any further. Dad knew they had to create some kind of shelter. All he could do was to cut out a large hole in the ground; he used a cup from their cooking kit to do it, and then he put his children in that hole and he covered it with a tarp. But the fierce winds just kept blowing the tarp away, and that left the children exposed to that deadly storm. The father tried everything he could find to hold down the tarp, but nothing worked. Finally, in one last desperate attempt to save his children, he actually lay across that hole himself to keep the snow from blowing in. Two days later, a search party noticed the edge of a backpack. They uncovered the hole and they found the two children alive and well. But first they uncovered their father who froze to death, protecting the ones he loved.
When you're the parent of a little child, you know that one of your great challenges could be getting that little one to sleep at night. When you are the little child, you know why it's hard to get to sleep at night. First, there's that prayer. You know, the one where your Mommy has you pray, "Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep." OK, so far, so good. Then, "If I should die before I wake..." OK, that's it! I am not going to sleep! Who in the world put that line in that prayer? Then there's another reason little kids have a hard time getting to sleep. The monsters, you know the ones in the closet. Oh, I know we had them in my room, how about yours? See, parents never really seem to get it. But all of us kids knew that once the lights all went out, there was a really scary monster waiting in that closet. So, you lie there with your eyes wide open, afraid of what that monster might do if you fall asleep.
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